Healing, Living Well, and Hope

Marianna Jaross

Healing from pain can include identifying opportunities and experiences where we can shift into hope and possibility.

Our job in healthcare is to create systems that support stabilisation and healing, and our work individually is to identify windows of hope, healing, and change that are personalised to us.

This is not to paint over harsh realities or circumstances. I am aware that people are often under-resourced by a system that doesn’t adequately support them or meet their needs, are unable to fully escape the pain or trauma (such as in the experience of post-separation abuse), or are experiencing pain from which there is no escape; such as losing a loved one.

I am unable to address all of the above in this article. Rather, the intention here is to identify windows of healing when we are not under direct threat.

Here are some ideas that may be supportive:

1.) Identifying and understanding our pain. This may sound counterintuitive to a healing process. However, in order to identify what we would like to change, work on, or improve; we have to do a grounded analysis of what has been/is occurring. This can include facing the reality that we may not have control over, identifying the patterns that have repeatedly shown up in our lives, the people we surround ourselves with, and our own (potentially) self-sabotaging behaviours.

2.) Identifying what is in our control versus not. We may need to do some acceptance work over what is not in our control. Once we can hold or understand this, we can allocate our energy towards actions and resources that are in our control and supportive.

3.) Self-compassion. It is easy to beat ourselves up for when we make mistakes, or when life doesn’t go our away. Self-compassion can be the antidote to this, and is defined as “… the process of turning compassion inwards. We are kind and understanding rather than harshly self-critical when we fail, make mistakes, or feel inadequate” (Neff, 2024). Learning how to extend compassion to ourselves can gently challenge our negative self-judgements, and instead reallocate the focus on caring for ourselves in this moment.

4.) Remembering the power of choice and options. While there are very real situations that we can’t control and indeed may be victims of; eventually there may be a window of opportunity, change, or support. Pivoting towards these when we can, exercising our power of choice, and reclaiming our agency can be a healing balm.

5.) Seeking support. It is human to fail at times, face challenges, and need connection and support. Life does not run 100% smoothly for anyone, and we need support in order to ride the challenging waves and detours. Seeking support is not weakness, it is part of our shared humanity.

6.) Reflecting on times when you felt good. While we can’t go back to the past, we can often identify periods or experiences where we felt aligned, supported, and happy. This can a) provide hope that this feeling is possible (even without the exact replica) and b) help us identify the essence of what may be helpful to reintegrate into our lives.

7.) Reminding yourself that you have navigated hard times before. Sometimes we feel that a particular pain or situation will go on forever, and this can compound our misery. However, when we remind ourselves of the challenges we’ve navigated before; we can zoom out, look at the bigger picture of our lives, appreciate our strengths, and call on them again.

8.) Creating positive routines over time. Reintegrating supportive habits and routines around lifestyle factors that influence our wellbeing can be important: Diet, sleep, stress, relationships and community engagement are all underrated pillars of our wellbeing. Accessing and building on these can support an upward spiral to face our lives, address challenges, and rebuild.

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Overall, there is hope when we can understand our pain, develop compassion for our suffering, reflect on our ability to address challenges, and build the resources, networks, and supports to realign our lives.

References

Neff, K. (2024). Retrieved September 4th, 2024 from https://self-compassion.org

© Marianna Jaross 2024

Note: This article is independant of my professional association(s) and workplace(s).