How Embracing The Bittersweet Can Help Us Heal

Marianna Jaross

The more I meet people — both in a clinical and non-clinical space — the more I notice the bittersweetness we deal with in our daily life.

In a recent episode of The Diary Of A CEO, guest Dr Alok Kanojia highlighted that the more we accept and engage with the concept of life as bittersweet, the more content we will be.

He aptly states: “There is piss and there is sugar. And that’s just what it is.”

Life is often about balancing tensions. We yearn for safety versus freedom and exploration, we enter relationships with the possibility of heartbreak, and we can’t love others without experiencing loss and grief at some point in our lives.

Though we are existing in a positivity-prioritised social media landscape, I am convinced that the more we can hold bittersweetness, the more we can realise our shared humanity, that life will inevitably have ups and downs, and we can cease our show of perfection; which hinders our connection to each other more than helping it.

Here are some steps to remember:

1.) Embracing the bittersweet means acknowledging that there will be ups and downs throughout our life. In Hungarian there is a saying “hol kerék, hol talp” which loosely translates to “sometimes on wheels, sometimes on foot.” This can help normalise and frame our experiences and challenges.

2.) If we understand challenges are inevitable, we may more easily allow ourselves permission to reach out to each other for support both personally and professionally, and make this a regular part of our lives instead of pretending everything is ok.

3.) When we remember the bittersweet elements of life, we can deeply consider and develop our filter for who we spend our time with, and how we build our relationships. As nothing and no one lasts forever, we can use this concept to embrace our loved ones in a deeper way.

4.) We can check in with ourselves: If our experiences are sweet, how can we savour them? If we are facing challenges and bitterness, how can we look after ourselves and after each other?

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There is magic in the bittersweet, and our job is to lean into these experiences, recognise their seasonality, and reach out for supports when we need to.

The bittersweet is what forms the tapestry of our lives.

© Marianna Jaross 2024

Note: This article is independant of my professional association(s) and workplace(s).