Steps To Like Yourself

Marianna Jaross

Most of us approach adulthood with a range of challenges: We may have come from a different background to others, we may have been bullied, faced family challenges, or a myriad of other challenges that would tempt us to shut down our hearts.

Oftentimes by adulthood we have been wired to survive, rather than thrive. We walk around trying to please others, society, achieve milestones, without tending to our internal garden.

From my perspective, there are some small practical things that we can do to develop a relationship with ourselves; as we’re the only ones in the world we are definitely stuck with.

1.) Gratitude.

When life is tough, there may be something hat we can be grateful for: Practice pivoting towards these, and windows of hope and opportunity might start to open.

2.) List out your inherent strengths.

We all have arenas in our personality that we can naturally cultivate: Are you calm amongst chaos? Open and creative? Thoughtful? Appreciating our unique characteristics can be supportive.

3.) Treating yourself as though you care about yourself.

Sometimes, us liking ourselves arises from us doing activities that show us that we care about ourselves. This can be how we eat, move our body, or treat ourselves.

4.) Noticing the loops or stories we play in our brain.

Sometimes, we may just notice these. Sometimes, we may want to challenge what is our autopilot and see if a new story may emerge. The point is having awareness, and the practice of tuning into ourselves can signal that we matter.

5.) Surrounding ourselves with people who treat us well.

It is challenging to tend to ourselves if the people around us are bringing us down. Some of this may require developing a muscle of ‘not my circus, not my monkeys,’ and other times we may need to more thoughtfully cultivate our inner circle.

If the people around us help to reflect our worth or gently hold us to a high standard, we may be able to see ourselves with a fresh perspective.

© Marianna Jaross 2025

Please note: This article is independent of my professional associations and workplace(s).